Monday, November 12, 2012


Mr. Freibert was slow on the draw of his digital camera this year so it falls to me, Conor Stechschulte, to bring to you, our lovely audience, this years BCGF FULL REPORT: A Multimedia Experience.

Our story begins on Friday, November 9, 2012. 

Molly Colleen O'Connell (hereafter "MCO") introduces a truly brutal lineup of females performing at the third triennial, biennial? Püss Füst Festival. A magical event as always. 

Here are the Püss Füst bookshelves built by the lovely and inimitable Máire O'Neill, co-curator of the Füst and queen of my heart, displaying the wares of many of the female freaks we were about to see: Anya Davidson, Aidan Koch (wait, were you there Aidan, I don't think I saw you but I heard that you were..), Clara Bessijelle, and Leslie Weibeler.

Freibert, Day, MCO, and I piled into the Prius (see below) we borrowed from the aforementioned Máire O'Neill (thanks again babe) before dawn and caught site of this red bull risin' over the.... Susquehanna I believe...

Stopped to snack and piss. Day stayed in the car reading the Raymond Chandler book he would later leave in the backseat (I've got it now dude, let me know when you want it back).

Freibert that coffee? No. 

Straight milk. 

Not kidding. Does a body good 


Day practices his handshake before the crowds arrive.

If these dudes look confident it's cuz they're about to EARN. Day's Posters and Freibert's Weird 2 were festival hits at the table. Day: "People love Dan Deacon"

The Table from an exhibitor's POV

Jake Dibeler came and sat our table for a while. As evidenced by this photo, he was in perpetual motion and cracking our shit up the whole day. Here he makes plans to let  Charles Burns know how much he loved "Ghost World." 

Whenever I had a free moment, I checked on the progress of this rash I've recently developed. Is this eczema? or allergies? Let me know if you have any insight.

Freibert watches contentedly as copies of WEIRD 2 fly off the table. Order your copies now folks this is a highly rarefied object.

This is the phone of Brian Blomerth aka Narwhalz of sound. His was the new face behind the table this year. His comics rule. This was Brian's first time coming to a comic convention and he thought there'd be only like 30 people there hanging out, maybe someone in a robin costume (oh wait, there was a dude in a robin costume). So he brought his dog join the hang out. I missed it when the dog was there and Brian was sad to have to leave the guy at home: "Today's our day man, Saturday's our fucking day. I walk all over the fucking place the dog's picking up trash have a fucking BLAST man. He shows these New York FUCKS how to have a good time. Picking up trash and shit."

 The first time Brian cracked me up was when I read the titles of his songs off the back of the Narwhalz tape, "Stop it, You're driving me Jay-Z" at the original location of the True Vine back in like 2006. The last time was right around when this photo was taken as he talked about the physical violence in his past: Getting beat up in high school, "there were like ten of 'em man they BEAT. MY. ASS. They threw me in a pit of fucking gleyass man. There was a fucking pit of broken gleyass in my neighborhood and they threw me in it man. It was fucked up." and his retaliation: "I caught one of them alone. He was all alone so I beat his ass. I don't give a FUCK man. I stomped is fucking face. You throw me in a pit of glass and I don't give a FUCK man, I'll stomp your face in." He then asked, "I'm sorry, am I get too dark for the comic convention?"   My camera didn't focus properly on this screen but it says "To: Twitter Text: FUCK" hahahaha.

We grabbed some pizza pies and then some pizza slices then hit the party dude. We arrived early. This party is serious business for us. First to arrive, last to leave. Pictured above, Joe Kesslers head, Freibert's freak face, Day's blurred mug and the back of Ines Estrada.

Kessler to Day: "Phil Collins is a nob."

This is a Ven diagram. On the left we have Secret Acres and on the right we have the City of Chicago. (Pictured: Gas Can Man, Edie Fake, Andy Burkholder).

Simon, MCO, Burkholder.

Shortly after the last photo was taken a wave of violence swept through the room. Burkholder set up contestants and MCO delivered stunning headbutts to the likes of Sam Gaskin and Joe Kessler. this set off a chain reaction that led to this:

Westvind came in for a takedown on Davidson but Anya sooned gained the upper hand.

Then Westvind put the SPIN on Davidson to gain an advantage.

The crowed egged them on!

Sheer grit was keeping Anya in the match but Westvind's ferocity knows no match.....or does it????

In a brilliant strategic move, Davidson tagged in Zachilli and the tables were turned. Had Lale found her equal? 

Clash of comics TITANS. These ladies would not let up. 

I might have to call this match for Lale but YOU BE THE JUDGE. check out this video starting with the Kessler/MCO headbutt and ending with the 3rd of 4 rounds between Westvind and Zachilli.

Last October, after playing a show in Worcester at the Distant Castle, the rhythm section of Witch Hat was kept awake  (I employed the help of foam earplugs and slept like a damn log) by Sam Gaskin "Screaming like a fucking baby" getting this stick and poke tattoo of Muppet Baby Rolf. SIDENOTE: A video exists of this tattooing taking place, I want to see it. get it touch with me if you know it's location

Kessler and Gaskin. You really ought not smoke Sam. It'll stain the perfect whiteness of your 'tache.

THE WRECKAGE. Pete the Swede constitutes the shortest bathroom line of the night. Photo taken just before we all creeped some couches and passed out. I try to stick to the Golden Rule in my everyday life, but when it comes to snagging a sleeping couch at the end of the night I am pure Machiavelli.  Colin (? was that your name?) from Bellingham got up for a moment and when he turned around I was enjoying a full body extension on the couch he thought was his. Colin (?) is, as it turns out, also a couch grabbing G much like myself and was able to squeeze in the bottom of the wide couch I had conceded to MCO and Day, rendering their Full Body Extension impossible. Freibert made a sleeping choice consistent with his unique aesthetic and slept on top of two red, glossy, faux-leather cushions on the floor.

We woke around 11:30 to the sound of Freibert's trumpet. The cloaked figure asleep on the chair turned out to be our good pal pal Roby (Robie?) of Providence! She rules! Bill K got home with some garbage bags and we helped clean up. Lizz Hickey pictured above answering the question "what does the garbage man say?" Chris Cilla slept through all the clanging and crunching and pouring and farting that morning.

Cardboard pile. Is that you Tsarlag??? I didn't think you made it to this convention!! Sign my copy of Micro Pitch!!!

A message to cartoonists: FINISH WHAT YOU START, there was easily 8 gallons of beer left to flatten and go rancid in opened containers around Cartoon House. In a typically savvy move, Friebert stowed away several unopened libations in his famous "bottomless backpack" made by LL Bean.

We grabbed some food the next morning and headed to the Brick theatre to catch MCO's reading. Friebert is seen here making a connection with the Burkholder/Davidson/Milburn crew via cellular phone. 

Freibert and I ran down the street to catch those three fucks of Chicago/Chicago/Boston at Kellogg's diner. I said my goodbyes (I fucking love you guys for real) and delivered a bag of zines and clothing to Milburn and then ran back up the block just in time for the start of the reading. I forget some of the names of the people in the lineup except for MCO (obviously), John P, and Dongery. Molly killed it and came out of left field with a barrage of dirty texts, Dongery split my sides. What is hair?

I pulled the trigger at the end of the reading and laid down the cash for the Huge Dongery Tome. I don't regret it. For the rest of my life I will have 4.4 Kilos of Dongery on my side in the fight against sadness and pain.

We exited the theatre and walked down the block and wouldn't you know it?! we ran right into Freibert and Burkholder sneaking down the street to Snack Hazard's house. Got to give those beautiful boys more of my affection. I've taken a lot in my life from the likes of the Brinkmans, the Wares, the Cloweses, the Burnses, the Yokoyamas, but seriously in the the top 10 of my list of I.C.I.s (inspiring comics individuals) are Noel Freibert, and Andy Burkholder. True beasts of the form.

Day took the Backseat and MCO climbed into a sleeping bag in the front (I need a frosty climate in which to do my driving and I don't like taking off my coat) for the ride home. No music needed! The three of us talked comics, internet, plans, dreams, ambitions, all the way back to Baltimore. 

Holy crap! It's not common that the People I love Most in the World column is so fully filled in on my People I've Seen this Weekend chart. I closed my eyes last night and my mind was swimming with ideas and memories and love. You guys are the fucking best. 

Thanks to the hosts of show, Bill, Dan, Gabe. Thanks to the hosts of the Party and of my slumbering self, Austin, Bill (again), Clara, Evan, Lizz... and, uhh, I'm sorry I don't know any more names of people that live at the house but thank you for real.

This is a picture of my Haul. if you want the breakdown you're going to have to check it out on my TUMBLR dude.

I hope to see you all soon and can't wait to dive into this deep, dank, dark lake of comics.


PS- so sad Ryguy Cecil Smythe wasn't there. Next time dude!


zach hazard vaupen said...

fork dude! this made me realize how little we actually got to chill this time. gotta remedy that next time.
-snack hv

eleanor farley said...

laughing all the way to hell!

mz said...

hey dude that match was unfinished, ill be back for more next con u know me anytime anywhere --- westvind watch ur back
-m z

Cullen Beckhorn said...

Good hangin with you guys in the morning. Next time the couch is mine!

Leon Sadler said...

Just some quick notes on the books you bought: The full title of 2by2 is 2by2 Survival Edition, because they pieces together by scraps and misprints to create the very last version of these books in existence.
The copy you got of antarctic seal, I can see is the scribbled on. I'd ran out of paper for the cover so i found some old stuff i never used and had to scribble loads out cos it was a bit gay, and it just turned out that the positioning of that scribble on the cover was right in the centre of the cover image, when i put it in the printer and it prtined over it. The cover has a very symbolic image of an open padlock, with a bent key, in a log raft, on a thrashing area of water.
I hope you don't mind me posting this to your blog, I don't trust that the sufficient info was passed on to our end users!!!
It looks like you all had a very irresponsible time!!!